Real Estate, and the Fine Art of Listening

Everyone aspires to be the smartest person in the room, sharing their wisdom for all to hear. (Especially if you’re in real estate, you know this to be true.) More often than not, however, there’s much greater value to be had from doing more listening than talking.  It’s an art that takes some practice – especially if pausing isn’t something you’re accustomed to – but boy can you learn a lot.

Ask questions instead of offering answers.

As the old saying goes, you don’t know what you don’t know. And the only way to find out is to ask: “Can you tell me how much you know about [topic]?” is a magic question, because it makes people feel important and heard. From a colleague perspective, you can glean a huge amount of valuable information simply by asking questions. And from a client perspective, it can help you form strong connections by really hearing their needs, fears, dreams, and limitations.

Actively listening is different from hearing.

Listening is a lost art, but one of the most valuable skills you can possess. And no matter how much you love the sound of your own voice, it’s crucial to give others the opportunity to not only speak, but to give all your focus to what they’re saying. Listening with intent is a gift that costs you nothing but can pay off in dividends when it comes back to you in reciprocity. This is especially true when dealing with individuals who may not have an opportunity to feel heard in their professional lives; city employees, inspectors, and “on the ground” employees of larger companies are most likely to be especially grateful to someone who takes the time to listen.

Start with “I didn’t know that...”

Coupled with real listening, remaining quiet during a conversation reinforces others’ desire to fill the role of expert. When you say something like “I didn’t know that!”, you are providing a direct compliment to the other person’s knowledge. Giving these conversational “free gifts” creates a sense of gratitude from others which is usually rewarded. More importantly, you have expended nothing to achieve this status; merely being willing to let others feel valuable is very often the key to a successful negotiation or meeting.